Episode 32: Most Genericest, the 2020 Padres Rankings

For a month we at ASAB have been working on a metric called ALPE, that stands for Anonymity to League Popularity Egregiousness. What ALPE does is it measures a sports franchise level of genericness, or Padres, as we like to call it. It factors anonymity, league popularity, market size, market share, and a team’s history. All of these come together to create a team’s Padres rating.

Why? Why do this? Why create a metric to specifically point out the unrelenting blandness of certain sports franchise? Why even bother to make fun of the completely unmemorable? Well, because it’s funny. Being generic is objectively funny. And we took this joke to extreme measures, because basically we lack tact. I mean, that’s it, really.

Our first show of 2020 explains the history behind our rankings, the process of creating the metric that measures genericness and blandness, and all of the interesting things we discovered while creating the metric.

So I present to you our ALPE metric, the rankings can be found as a companion piece here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1ApZyCpeEOJH6VZTtZ0iflC1gST3E4ym2IlHZbBrz05Q/htmlview

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